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Been 'bout a year,now.

Been about a year since I've been in New Orleans.
Been about a year since I came home to my "Dear Mick" letter.

I think I did the right thing.
I didn't get angry.
I didn't demand people stop being friends with her.
I didn't make angry phone calls/text messages/e-mails.
I got my heart ripped out, spat upon and kicked away, and what was the response I heard?

"Oh, poor Jessie is really hurt by the breakup. She's heartbroken!"
Two, exactly two people came to my side in all of this.
Two, exactly two people took the time to call me, and ask me how I was doing.
Two, exactly two people got me out of the house and active.

And now one of them doesn't even talk to me anymore.

Ah well.

Hit the gym, lift some weights, take the hits and move forward.
March or die.


( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 9th, 2011 03:33 am (UTC)
This has happened to me too.

More than once.

It was good to see you on Saturday. :)
Aug. 10th, 2011 08:10 pm (UTC)
Glad to see you, too!
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 10th, 2011 08:11 pm (UTC)
Actually, apart from damn student loans, I'm doing pretty well.
Aug. 9th, 2011 12:45 pm (UTC)
Doing the right thing is often thankless and hollow.

For what it's worth, I hope to see you again soon.
Aug. 10th, 2011 08:12 pm (UTC)
Doing the right thing is often thankless and hollow.
Alas, t'is my nature.
Aug. 11th, 2011 12:58 pm (UTC)
'Tis in mine too, though I am finding that I can rest with a clean conscience, even if the fact that others are getting unjust desserts bothers me.
Aug. 9th, 2011 04:32 pm (UTC)
For what it's worth, I was far away and kinda only had LJ to go on. But I hope you know, had I been in Madison, there would have been a third person by your side. ((hugs))
Aug. 10th, 2011 08:13 pm (UTC)
Yeah, we totally woulda got a pint. Cheers.
Aug. 11th, 2011 12:13 am (UTC)
..or 10. ;)
Aug. 10th, 2011 12:22 am (UTC)
"Oh, poor Jessie is really hurt by the breakup. She's heartbroken!"

Yeah, I remember hearing that.

I didn't demand people stop being friends with her.
I didn't make angry phone calls/text messages/e-mails.

This was the right call on your part, absolutely.

Aug. 10th, 2011 08:19 pm (UTC)
Considering how emotional and impulsive I've been known to be in the past, I'm proud of the fact that I didn't drunk dial/txt/email/facebook her.
Aug. 11th, 2011 12:36 am (UTC)
Honestly, I think everyone knew you *both* were hurt by it. It was a long term relationship breakup...but I don't really think it was a situation that needed taking any sides. The letter, yes, was cowardly (getting dumped via letter/email, etc by someone you've known a long time is very unkind!) but other than that I am not sure that there was any heinous acts done such as any betrayals, cheating, abuse, etc....hence why no one took sides. I dunno, I felt for both of you then...and still do (&am friends w/you both). I am sorry you are still sad about it. I can totally understand! It can really suck some days. It was not just an ending of a relationship, but an end of a long friendship too. That is hard to disregard... ;( *sending inadequate internet hugs*

Eh, after you had "your heart ripped out, etc" at least you didn't get harassed for months by the replacement(&I don't believe Jessie had a replacement in the wings...). That, among many many other contradictory things, will always boggle my mind. wtf?! And like you, I have been known to have moments of being emotional, but super glad I was mature and did not respond/retaliate to her, to fuel her delusions. *shrugs* but I digress.

Yes, march or die.
Pretty damn happy with who I am and what I've accomplished despite any set backs. I hope you feel the same...


Well, Mick, you *know* I am always here for ya, always have been. You have my digits...
Aug. 11th, 2011 02:17 am (UTC)
Mick, you sound out of sorts.... beep me if you want entertainment.
Aug. 16th, 2011 02:30 am (UTC)
I'm actually pretty well, just sorta grumbly.
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 16th, 2011 02:49 am (UTC)
The opening line from the song "High Time" by the Grateful Dead is "How was I to know/that when you said "goodbye"/you meant please don't let me go." Which I think sums things up well.
As for fighting for her, I had done so for five years. Whatever I could do to make her happy, I did. Even when she would do the exact opposite of what she said she would do, I would do it.
Then after leaving me with all the love and respect afforded a bowel movement, she jumps into bed with the ex-boyfriend with whom she cheated on me, and get's a tattoo that says "I'm not sorry."
This did not encourage much desire for reconciliation on my part.
Yes, yes, the tattoo wasn't about me, and she regretted sleeping with him, but that's exactly a point I've come to realize. She's the single most unconsciously selfish person I've ever known. It isn't that she intentionally doesn't care if her actions hurt other people, it simply never crosses her mind to think about how her actions impact other people. (Examples available upon request)
What I wanted to tell her, when things started to look like an end was near, was that if she didn't believe we could last together, we couldn't last together. But I didn't get that chance.
I don't think I can put into words exactly how hurtful that was. After years of devotion, patience, accepting hypocrisy, I was stabbed in the back and abandoned.
I hope you never know how much that hurts.
And after being hurt like that, I didn't want to fight anymore.

As for people at the Inferno taking my "side," for lack of a better term, I can't do anything about that. But no one was talking to me either. The only thing anyone ever said to me was when Lore told me (ex post facto) that she charged Jessie the door fee; I hadn't even known she'd gone out.

As for a healthy and non-destructive anniversary, I assure you that is not the case. I do have enemies to crush, you know. ;)
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 20th, 2011 06:48 pm (UTC)
I hope this means you've defended me at some point.
As for Nick's facebook... decision, I think that's different than spending virtually every day with someone for several years, but that's not the point. I hope you never feel how much that hurts again.
Of course, with the divorce analogy, that means you've spent the past few months living with your mother, and you never heard my side of things. And it also means that, even though we aren't together anymore, your mother and I still love you very much.

Anyway, the past has passed. Let us move forward now.
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )


I am the Poison

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